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Monday, August 28, 2006 { 11:09 AM } ;
0 repliesoverpowering
it leaves me helpless
i have no choice
i am bound
by promises i made
unknowingly
is it truly
insatiable?
will i die
trying to fight
this monotony?
everyday, every hour, everminute-
it haunts me
that when i am awake
i
have to forever seek
to better myself
and when i am asleep
nightmares
of my never-ending quest
torment me
it hurts
to know that i am yet
not good enough
for this insatiable society
that always craves for more
leeching the confidence
from my very soul
and leaving me ever-hungry
for acceptance
ok i think its getting to my head. 2 days of stoning. and i feel like im drowning. thats all it takes to put you off track. 2 days.
now i feel like im letting everyone down. But worst of all. im letting MYSELF down. and that is truly the most disturbing feeling of all.
oh well. it isnt that bad is it? 5 rev ex shld be ok i guess. i can do the puremath stuff during the next 2 weeks. so that when week 1 comes along i shall be better prepared.
moving on. theres the horrible feeling that although this is the end of my secondary school examinable life, my life will be full of such exams. forever i will be examined to determine if i am good enough to get into this course and that job. forever. it is unending. i will never ever be good enough. i will have to try unendingly to better myself everyday. and if im tired of it now what am i going to do for the rest of my life?the goal is ever-shifting. society will never be accepting as long as you do not try your very best and
achieve results! and you just have to achieve those results. to meet
their expectations. and the worst part is, their expectations somehow, on one particular day, become
YOUR expectations. and when you dont make it, your not letting them down as much as you are letting YOURSELF down. and theres no worse feeling then that.and when absolutely everyone is striving to stand out, it becomes difficult to break the monotony. and we all die fighting it.
will we ever be allowed to be satisfied?
or are their expectations truly insatiable?
