Bittersweet Memories

2006-12-26T18:48:00.000+08:00

as of now i have a new blog! YAY!!!
its called:

endingthefarce.blogspot.com

and i LOVE MY NEW BLOGSKIN!!!

(thank you roy for showing it to me, sorry couldnt resist)

please continue visiting coz now im super free and i can blog! YAY! and now its gonna be more interesting since i moved(:

take care and cya on the other side
lovekav

2006-11-08T18:03:00.000+08:00

hello everyone!
ok todays post is not a poem its a horrible get this of my chest post.

i HATE HAZE and smoke. i mean ppl who smoke and leave me with an asthma attack.
rite now im SHO SICK thanks to them. i feel horrid, and i cant bear it any longer. FIVE pills ok. fever + inablility to breathe properly
HATE THIS>.<
anyways now im much better, the antibiotic worked. who ever heard of a throat infection, sinius outbreak and asthma attack at ONE TIME?!!!! sighhhhh
lets be more optimistic shall we.
i dunno HOW to upload pics on the blog, but we took LOADS of pics on grad day and i went to develop them with my mom. super ex ok! and still got many to go! lol((:
i LOVE taking pics and making albums. i shall occupy myself for the next few days with that.
since i cant go work:(
and anyways i was thinking of going to coffeebean to work rite, since they have flexible hours. and the coffees great. and id LOVE to work there. i wonder if theres free coffee.......and employee discount. mmmmmmmmmm coffee bean........my lovely "the ultimate" coffe with extra chocolate expresso beans and whipped cream.......mmmmmmmmmmmm
anyways now im in no position to do all that. the medicines are DROWSY!! sleepy byeeeeee
ok i gtg now. au revoir!
lovekav

2006-11-07T16:51:00.001+08:00

tomrrow
its a mystery to me
only one things for sure
what will be, will be

as i grope in this darkness
i find that im lost
like ive made some mistake
and im bearing the cost

i know not what will happen
if i choose this, or do that
if i apply for that job
if i pet that stray cat

i wish i knew where
i'll be in ten years time
so that i can difrintiate
kindness from a crime

for now i know not
what impact my actions bring
upon my future, my life
upon every detail,everything

and this uncertanity
is sometimes alarming
but upon deeper thought
it seems rather charming

to be a part of this intricate web
where everythings interconnected
my choices, the actions that i take today
may tomorrow be reflected

and as i sink further into
my self-created solitude
i realise , that every little action of mine
is of much greater magnitude

and so i promise myself
that i would tread this path of life
with much care and concern
forgetting mishaps and strife

believing in myself
trusting and depending
with confidance that
what ive begun is neverending

2006-11-07T01:18:00.000+08:00

We all depend
On someone
Something
Some moment
Some memory
For our existence
Without that one item’s
Presence in our lives
We would be
Incomplete
Incapable
Incompetent
For that one thing
Is what we define ourselves by
Without it
We would be lost
In the abyss of people
In this vast universe
Only a tiny speck
Without any differentiating factor
That would enable us
To be identified
And we would never be found
So we must always keep this object
This object of our obsession
Very close to our hearts
Lest it get lost
And we loose ourselves with it

2006-11-06T17:35:00.000+08:00

hello everyone!
im back! and im here to stay(i hope)
we graduated fromRGS recently. im so SAD about it all. the last talk we will get from mrs tan, the last time we would sing our sch song......geez im so sad abt it! and i cant even visit nxt year!!

BUT on saturday stacy and agri and i went and slept over at eliz's house! funnnnnnnnnnn!!
ok i wanna blog abt this but my arm hurts from playing tennis and badminton so i shall do it later. i wanna go to J8 and eat tiramisu now! lol
cya
kav

2006-10-29T20:37:00.000+08:00

i dont know why im so unhappy or rather awkward today. i just am. i dont wanna do anything. i didnt go to my uncles house today, frankly it would have been boring- but still, as i sit in my house gazing out of the window in front of the com and looking at the rather silent rain whose sounds are drowned out by maroon5 and jodi kamal ki on the TV in the living room, i feel a sense of.......incompleteness. i wonder why. ive been spoiting rubbish all day. the rain seems to be reflective of me today. it isnt happy, oh-i-wanna-go-get-wet rain, its the kind that you get trapped in while driving or the kind that ruins your plans for the day. its sad rain. and today the rain reflects me.
the drops fall slowly from the sill above my window, at a slower pace then the rain itself because their motion was stopped by the sill. dripping like tears. why tears? i dont know. i honestly dont know.
im alone at home. the TV is blaring for no reason. i dont want to go switch it off. i dont feel like. maybe this is because i didnt jog 2km today after a week of doing it. maybe its coz i didnt do my pilates. i dont know. maybe its coz of an overdose of caffine.
there seems to be a blanket of sadness clouding my senses. my eyes seem to burn as i gaze back at the computer screen from the window. it must be coz i dont look away very often anymore. except to see the raindrops, that are, today, so like me.
i was telling stacy today, earlier, when i was rather chirpy but still a little lost. its easy to write about sadness. she was commenting on how RG girls seem to be sadistic and depressed coz all the chinese phrases that they learn for exams seem to be about sadness and depression. but i dont think so. its simply coz we all know how to write about sadness. it comes with ease. coz we've all been there. and we know how hard it is to claw our way out. and so we can reflect that journey back to happiness upon a paper. easily.coz its like telling someone about your day, but just exaggerating a little bit.
ok enough sadness. i think im sad coz its halloween......that must be it. anyways. i shall go watch scary movie 4 to celebrate.

it seems hard to smile again.

2006-10-25T13:13:00.000+08:00

today i shall blog. yes. again.
although i should technically be doing my proof reading. oh wells. 30 more pgs and then onto the next one! damn i have a lot to do for mr lum by 6 today! my schedule is SO screwed. now we (mom and i) are gonna go to gastromania too. that is NOT a place where you go for gastric problems (ok i thought that too) but its a WONDERFUL FANTABULOUS gormet food store where you get SUCH NICE STUFF!!!! AAAAAAAA!!! j'aime!!!its sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo nice. the pizza itself is like heavennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!! and then the chocolate, the mushroom, the mirangue!!!!!AAAAAA!! ok im going mad. i better go proof read and make my advert for my holiday lessons so mr lum can run it in his newsletter! YAY!
cya later today. if i have time after updating my fanfic. honestly i have no idea where that things going ok. just winging it as i go along. but i helps with my typing!! lol. cya!
luvkav

2006-10-21T21:43:00.001+08:00

the lamps twinkle
in the dark of night
as i look on
past their glow
into the moon's light

the moon seems to smile
from its heavenly place
looking peacefully
upon every child's
smiling face

The sparklers shimmer
as children hold them
in their pudgy little hands
and their parents look on
seeing their children play games

a sense of peace
surrounds the games
in the chaos
there is serenity
that has given this day its fame

as i look on
at my family and friends
playing, shouting, dancing
i began to wish that
this day never ends

so all of this happiness
all of this peace
can be enshrined
forevermore
so i can rememer it in ease

heres wishing all friends and family

Happy Diwali!!

may the light show you true happiness tonight

2006-10-17T17:48:00.000+08:00

its gone.
there isnt even
a trace
of its existance
i cant feel
anymore
it hurts
to think
never again
will it cross my path
its broken
by my incompetance
shattered
i see the cracks
creeping across it
mauling its beauty
spreding like an infection
and its my fault.
its gone
and i caused this
i caused this
and forgiveness
is out of the question.

2006-10-16T18:01:00.000+08:00

drop goes the bowling ball
right upon her foot
OUCH goes the teacher
screaming toot toot toot
HRRUMPH goes the principal
giving her the boot
hehehe goes the student
serves you right you coot!

ok that was mean. she was mean too. i dont care.so there.

2006-10-16T16:30:00.000+08:00

i have a high fever right now so any incoherence should be escused. and stacy, spelling included(:

alright for lack of better things to do i shall now reveal (tada) my current playlist to you! yay! lol. its playing now. ohhh its so nice ok. all my faves (current) are there.

1. Spiderman Theme (micheal buble)
i like this song ok. spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can. and buble's voice is really really soothing.(:

2.Sway (Micheal Buble)
ok i love this song. ppl who know me well enough will tell you, i wish i knew ballroom dancing because of this song and assasin's tango (mr and mrs smith soundtrack, its classical). i even dreamt of it a few days ago. god knows who i was dancing WITH but it was so fun(:

3. Fix You (coldplay)
i LOVE this song, i even based my FF on this song. its very nice! go listen. and its soothing again. it makes me happy. and it makes me wanna sing along, which causes others to be unhappy. lol. esp when i have a sore throat atop my usual tuneless voice.lights will guide you home,and ignite your bones, and i will try to fix you.........

4. Sparks (coldplay)
again soothing, jaime coldplay for this reason: they really cool me down when they play.and i saw sparks......

5. We never change (coldplay)
yes, i never change either. coldplay again. i love coldplay. and this song is SO nice ok. and its beautiful(:

6. Trouble (coldplay)
i llove the lyrics of this song. it starts off oddly like its in the middle of the song alredy but i still LOVE it for the lyrics.

7.everythings not lost (coldplay)
this songs nice too. soothing as usual. you cann multitask when you listen to this song. lyrics arent that nice though. i dunno why. its slightly repetative and kinda odd during the corus. the starts nice though!

8. Easy to Please (coldplay)
i like this song. very much. its nice and soothing and somehow when i listen to this song my work is slightly better then the sentence before the song plays. i wonder why. lol. love, i hope we get on,cause im so easy to please, so easy to please

9.Under the Tracks (coldplay)
this song is off the sound track of the OC. its really really NICE!! it has a nice beat and when it plays i take a break from my work and just listen while looking out the window. its soooo nice ok. the lyrics are very nice too. a lil incoherent though. still. jaime. three times turn, and your gone, and your gone, you are free, you are free, its a long way home. what have we done, was it wrong, was it wrong, is it me, cant you see, its a long way home.

10.Yellow (coldplay)
ok this is my fave song from coldplay. one of my fave songs EVER. i LOVE this song. and i adore the lyrics. i dunno why. i replay this song in the car until my mom KILLS me with her glare. but i dont care ok. i love this song, and now even my mom knows the lyrics! lol. ok i shall proceed to list the lyrics. i love this part: , your skin oh ya your skin and bones, turn into something beautiful, and do you know, for you id bleed myself dry........for you id bleed myself dry. so poetic. i love this song(:

11.clocks (coldplay)
NO not tick tock stacy. its a VERY nice song. again one my mom is sick of from overuse in the car. but hehehehe she has to DRIVE so i handle the sound system(:
again random lyrics but BEAUTIFUL melody. i love this song.

12. In My Place (coldplay)
its very nice toooo i like the lyrics + song. fast paced though. so nice..

13. Shiver (coldplay)
ok i LOVE this song too. its very nice. From the moment i wake to the moment i sleep,Ill be there by your side,Just you try and stop me,Ill be waiting in line,Just to see if you care.
dosent the tune just touch you somehow? i dunno. i like this song(:

14. Where is the Love (BEP)
this song is meaningful. ive liked it for ages now. it somehow reminds me that im here to change smth. and i have to do that. eventually.

15. Pump it (BEP)
love the beat(:
16. Dum Diddy (BEP)
love the beat again(:
17. Lady Marmalade
ok knowing french turns this song obscene. but well i shall exclude that and just hum along ignoring the lyrics(:
18.genie in a bottle (christin Aguilera)
i like this song! the tune is nice(:
19. Beautiful (christina aguilera)
this song is so nice. its so much more meaningful then beautiful bu james blunt, where he dares to use obsemities and then replace them (when hes censored) with words that make no sense. This song is very nice ok. its motivating. and the video is nice*L

Ok now comes the onslought of classical songs
20. Concerto no. 2 in G minor (vivaldi autmn i think)
its so nice and soul piercing. its beautiful. better then all the songs above put together. and its so sad it could draw tears. its.....inexplicable.

21. Winter Vivaldi 4 Seasons
beautiful. angry, passionate, i love this track. wow. i feel exilerated. and the violinist is truly a master of his art. beauty at its ultimate. when it ends i feel so ... satiated somehow. its so nice i loose myself when i listen to this peice

22.Winter(2) Vivaldi 4 seasons
the violin is incredably high at first in this song. its beautiful. you could really cry, its so drawing. wow. so simple and well executed. i love this song.

23. beethoven Kargo 12'35
i love beethoven. its very very nice. really, by the end its like a story being told. but i definately prefer vivaldi's style, its more passionate. i dunno, comparin on this playlist vivaldi wins.

24. Rondo Allegro 10'48 beethoven
ok this track is very very very nice. its length is very much justified. its very satisfying somehow again. happy, angry, passionate, depressed all at the same time. i love this one.

ok there it is. my playlist. 24 songs. wow i took AGES for it manz. anyways, i know its a lil odd im very out of it rite now, things actually spin a lil bit when i move my headXD

anyways obv coldplay is my fave band (aduh) but i DO love the beatles and guns and roses and other bands but kinda left them out coz i didnt feel like it today. so yes. thats my playlist. and i LOVE it(: go get some of the songs, esp the classical ones. in terms of time the classocs dominate the list btw(:
take care and dont fall sick like me
luvkav

2006-10-15T17:45:00.000+08:00

i feel lost
in a world
that was my home
i feel alone
in a place
ive always known
it feels strange
to do things
that ive always done
it feels out of place
to do what i did
just last week
because with freedom
comes the reluctance
to work hard
or even work at all
and i yearn
for that familiarity
to return
and for myself
to recognise
what needs to be done.

ok todays poem is cruddy.mais im not exactly poetic at the moment. im listening to Largo 12"35 by beethoven and im very much enjoying it. i just felt like reliving some happiness so that im at least in the shadow of some contentment when i do my RS work (which is again overdue). The eng speech went SO WELL i started jumping when we got it back. seriously, ppl were staring when i took it out of the class trays. and eliz was angry (shorry mon amie!!) coz, as she rightly said, my jublient behaviour was less then sensitive because the distribution of marks was not exactly very good. anyways the point is, eng is 3.6 now!!! and maybe geog too!!!!!! so i get a 3.6 overall and je suis TRES content!!! YAY!!!muhahahaha!!!

anyways it all depends i guess on chem and math. ok forget abt that now. eng. happy. eng. happy. happy thoughts. ONLY happy thoughts

i wish i could get used to studying and working hard again. its been horrible now that there are no more tests. i cant work anymore. its OUT OF MY SYSTEM.i cannot!! i dunno why!!! now i need to do RS and all i need to do is format the thingy again. and i CANT. i just am too lazy. so im blogging to vent whatever lazyness i have (hopefully) and then perhaps i shall do RS.

ok i promised eliz that i shall blog abt her. yes. abt how she turned me into a SHOPLIFTER (tadadada!!!). (ppl you know me better then that, it was UNINTENTIONAL)

we were in isetan (i dunno why we were supposed to be going to some cafe so i could eat my veg lunch, me being the humane one of the three (LOL staky you can kill me now)), and staky eliz and me were there. We were in the jackets section and there was this knitted pretty jacket there and eliz was like can you knit me that?! and i told her that i couldnt even knit MYSELF a proper bag , jacket was sooo outa my league. and then i saw this very nice white jacket and decided to try it on (upon eliz's ...persuation) and eliz was like you have smth like that! and i said no, i dont. and she DRAGGED ME to the nearest mirror to let me look. guess where the mirror was? OUTSIDE the shop. next to a LIFT. past ELECTRONIC GATES. it started buzzing!! and we were PANICING. and i looked like an idiot in the jacket ok. and stacy was holding our bags and was repeating, i dont know you both!!! and the buzzing stopped. and we quickly shuffled out of the place. and that was it. LAWL. god i will never forget how eliz brought me over to the dark side!!!HAHA.
i have a LOT OF THINGS to blog abt nowadays. i HAVE to blog abt cedric soon.hes a 5 year old boy btw whom i take for tuition.he reads to me, i read to him,its so fun!. hes soooooo cute. maybe i shall upload a pic soon. and hes such a lil gentleman ok. even stacy says hes soooooo smart. YAY. hes like his mom, really. so sweet.

alrite enough now. i shall be a good girl and go do my fanfic and then go do rs and then make myself a YUMMY salad with my danish feta that i just replenished and my asperagus and my yummy veggies! and then walking i shall go with baba (grandpa). i have to blog abt filming tooo btw. remind me willya. cya!!
luvkav

2006-10-15T01:23:00.000+08:00

as i look apon the trees
barren
devoid of their usual green
as my cheek feels the breeze
smooth
soft as ever it had been
i feel myself
as never before
truly free,
wanting more
of life itself
of loves and losses
of chances, luck
and coin tosses
for once i feel
that i am free
devoid of any burdens
i can truly be
simply, wholly, easily
me.

today i went to arjun's house. people there (of ages 16 and below) : Arjun, Akash (no, not my dad, arjuns cute adorable lil cousin), Arthi (another cousin), Ashwathi (ditto) and vivek(ditttto)

Akash is a lil brat. hes the smartest cutest adorablest lil brat ever. really. hes 7 going on 70. he knows how to play monopoly and beat me and ashwathi (shes 12) flat. hes so cute too. but hes damn hyper, major sugar rush after eating cake. His lil bro, akshay is SO CUTE too. akash can control akshay. he uses this control to fuel his evil plans like he makes his lil bro jump on the bed. hes really smart ok. ive never seen a more smart lil boy. ever. and thats a lot comming from me. thats basically why i love him so much. hes just so SMART ok. you can actually teach him things like bridge, we were playing go fish ok! he even knows magic tricks. he does chores to earn money for his pokemon cards. hes SMART. ok enough abt akash.

arthi is soooooooooo cute too, shes a year younger then akash and she has the most expressive eyes. shes such a sweet girl ok. shes super smart too but she uses her smarts for GOOD. she didnt even ask for revenge when vivek ran over her foot with a chair while akash(without reason) threw things randomly at everyone. so sweet rite? (:
ashwathi is a sweetheart too. i love her name. i dont know why, it sounds really nice to me. shes really sweet and very nice company. a dose of sanity amoung the very very loud boys.
arjun: no comment.as usual, nice(:
nikhil: well not so bad rite? poor guy, he spilt cake on his shirt (that looked uncannyly like a hindi sch uniform) and it was all pink. in the end he decided to tell his mom that akash threw a crayon on him and thats why the shirt was pink. lol i think it will work!!! it looks that way ok! anyways i had fun. didnt bridge (was wishing for staky or someone to bridge with, nikhil and arjun (being oh so *innocent* absolutely only in this aspect) didnt know howw). we played monopoly though! fun. lol.

i shall blog abt narrative film making some other time alrite(:
byeeeeeeeeeeeee for now(:
luvkav

2006-10-11T12:38:00.000+08:00

i am super mad today. i feel angry rather then liberated. everything seems to be going wrong today everything. absolutely. i hate this. its like things are breaking apart.

unrest
it surrounds me
i am not one
with those around me

why?
this i ask
from the one
who gave me this task

why cant i
find any peace
it seems like
my life's on lease

my friends are no longer
at all mine
this the light has shown
as it shines

and my control
seems to be
in someones hands
other then me

and those who used
to be so dear
now seem to irritate
when they're near

as i am not one
with them anymore
I do not wish
to drift ashore

I do not wish
for a cure
i do not wish
to be free
as i suddenly enjoy
my captivity

for i am one
with myself alone
and this is the truth
that the light has shown

ok im very pissed. nothing fits anymore. nothing. i guess im just upset about certain events that do not ammount to any inferrences about ppl. yet as i sit here on my class computer and look upon the majority of my class i find myself lost, as though i do not fit anymore. i wish i could fly, far far away, where i myself am not a puzzle peice so that i dont have to fit into anything at all, and i myself make me whole. i want to be whole. i want to not need anyone. beacause my temprementality prevents me from forgiving very easily sometimes.........and that makes life difficult. because i cant even forgive myself when i need to move on. and it hurts to hate yourself for mistakes.

2006-10-08T09:59:00.000+08:00

the air
its choking me
theres somthing wrong
with what im breathing
if you look closely
you can see
you can feel
you can smell
the thickness
the omnipresence
of the fumes
from the fury of fire
and it makes me feel
simply helpless
as everyday
as i walk out
it brings me down
to my knees
it defeats me
in a fight that
i never took on
and it leaves me
broken

i HATE the haze. its choking me!!! omg i can SEE IT!!! its like im not breathing air anymore. im on medicationdamn manz.
i have a fever today. damn thank god i din go for pharm chem. wayyy too sick. and not too sleepy.and i have a cold. ouch rite? lol i wonder how a nose as big as mine can get blocked so completely. its horrible!
sigh. damn horrible.

2006-10-06T08:53:00.000+08:00

im fading
i can feel it
somehow
i seem less present
i feel thiner,
like im suddenly
made of rice paper
and all that it takes
to rip me apart
is a single blow
my very existance
my personality
my self
seems to be fading
the same way
colour fades from a tree
during autmn
the same way
a stain is washed off
a ruined dress
i am stained
by my past
and yet it is
these very stains
that define me
and now that the time has come
to wash these stains off
and start anew
i find
that the fabric of my life
is fading
as part of me
is being washed off
with my past.

it feels like im fading away.

ok my mathability has taken such a blow im afraid it needs to go into rehabilitation. its horrible. i cant do integration between two curves!!! i cant rmb how. i missed the main lesson but i used to be able to catch up without any help and i used to be able to read up and not need to ask anyone. now my textbook is lost. i feel lost too. its like a part of me, the adaptable and carefree part, is fading away.

people who know me well will tell you, i dont hurry very often. in the morning i watch kasam se for 30 out of the 40min i have to get ready for sch. and i wear my socks and shoes in the car, and sometimes i comb my hair there too. im realy a person who dosent really give a damn as long as im not late for sch. if i make it by 1 min or 30s it dosent matter. i just have to make it. now however my grandparents are here, and understandably they are SHOCKED at the way i get ready in the mornings. dont get me wrong, i love them to bits but seriously, their early morning shock puts me behind by 1min!! lol. but theyre right. i cant keep doing this. i mean not in the mornings but with the rest of my life. i study for tests the day before the test itself, i do PTs on the night before its due. its not right. i need to challenge myself more. show my best as opposed to my slapstick work that may be good on occasion but can be a LOT better as well.

with respect to GPA, im dissatisfied.

chem- im dissapointed. very. i lost 4-5 marks for SPELLING. and then again i feel bad coz many more were lost for key words. what can i do? nothing. thats it. its over. thats whats scary. but i like chem. i shall take it again. and work on my spelling. yes. work on my spelling.
3.6(assuming i get 17/25 for my SPA)

biology- im sorely dissapointed in my EOY. how could i? how could i? i do not know. im sad. really sad. i lost a lot of marks for dumbness. does that mean i dont have any kind of ability for bio? i dont know. my pt was bad. i know that much. but if those marks on the geog sheet were correct then i am overjoyed. j'aime bio, mais c'est tres difficile quand j'ai ce marques.
3.6

Physics
comparatively (to my other subjects) im not as dissapointed as i would have been. its quite ok actually my phy grade. but compared with other ppl im sad. and i cannot believe that i could make such mistakes. btw this is not an escuse but the paper was flawed. the teacher himself admitted it. but that was just one stupid mark. what happened to the rest? they were eaten up. by my stupid brain. im dissapointed, overall but not that much.
3.6

SS
actually im HAPPY with SS.with my grade i mean. 78% aint bad for somewone who barely scraped a 70 last year. but seriously, knowing that ONE STUPID MARK kept you from a 4 is sad. VERY SAD. i could cry!!!this is the one four ive yearned for for so long.oh well.
(high) 3.6

Geog
i better not comment. i dont know what will come out of my mind about the think scrawny and evil person involverd. its just unfair. esp the PT. we didnt even work as a group. unfair. and again its abt 1-2% away from a 3.6. life is mean, isnt it?
3.2

English
ok.this was absolutely tragic. ok i am bad at spelling but they cant give us THAT LOW marks!! its unfair. ppl actually failed. what is wrong with those teachers? cant they see that this grade is like an anchor tied to our foot? its sinking us. i hate this. im supposed to be good at english. ive been speaking english since i was 3. my first words were in this language. and my last words will be in this language. but really. its infair. however, the orals were GREAT (for me). im very happy!!! coz chew wai lee was the one who gave me good comments!! and the other indian teacher said i have an indian accent. HE DOES TOO ok. i dunno what his obsession with accents is, he says rhea has an american accent. anyway overall for the whole class this oral was unfair. thsoe who got high marks before went down by a lot. it leads you to think, why? its definitely the teachers, cause i know the ppl are good. but its unfair.
3.2 (as long as i pass my speech)

math
oh how sorely i feel for this subject. i shall comment on this soon in my next post.
3.6 (if i get 60% in the nxt test)

sigh. i shall update soonn again. im sad. very sad. very very sad. oh wells.

2006-09-03T22:31:00.000+08:00

bedtime post here. just to blog abt my non- optional options experience.
whoever it was that thought of options, i must admit, was originally a well wisher of sec4s. yes, i would have loved to do specilized modules after eoys. normally. but being adults, the people who came up with options shouldnt have given us such headaches about choosing them. this part reeeeeeeally sucks!its just mean of them to do this ok! thanks stacy btw for helping me sort out the options. thanks lady at CC for letting me print the tables . CURSES to my printer for breaking down. and finally the agony is over!! HURRAH!!
ok i just remembered this poem. its one of my faves. i know it by heart. really BEAUTIFUL. veh simple, just read and youll get the story. quite unknown though. but still pretty.

Lord Ullin's Daughter

A Chieftain, to the Highlands bound,
Cries, "Boatman, do not tarry!
And I'll give thee a silver pound
To row us o'er the ferry!" --

"Now, who be ye, would cross Lochgyle,
This dark and stormy weather?"
"O, I'm the chief of Ulva's isle,
And this, Lord Ullin's daughter. --

"And fast before her father's men
Three days we've fled together,
For should he find us in the glen,
My blood would stain the heather.

"His horsemen hard behind us ride;
Should they our steps discover,
Then who will cheer my bonny bride
When they have slain her lover?" --

Out spoke the hardy Highland wight, --
"I'll go, my chief --I'm ready: --
It is not for your silver bright;
But for your winsome lady:

"And by my word! the bonny bird
In danger shall not tarry;
So, though the waves are raging white,
I'll row you o'er the ferry." --

By this the storm grew loud apace,
The water-wraith was shrieking;
And in the scowl of heaven each face
Grew dark as they were speaking.

But still as wilder blew the wind,
And as the night grew drearer,
Adown the glen rode armèd men,
Their trampling sounded nearer. --

"O haste thee, haste!" the lady cries,
"Though tempests round us gather;
I'll meet the raging of the skies,
But not an angry father." --

The boat has left a stormy land,
A stormy sea before her, --
When, O! too strong for human hand,
The tempest gather'd o'er her.

And still they row'd amidst the roar
Of waters fast prevailing:
Lord Ullin reach'd that fatal shore, --
His wrath was changed to wailing.

For, sore dismay'd through storm and shade,
His child he did discover: --
One lovely hand she stretch'd for aid,
And one was round her lover.

"Come back! come back!" he cried in grief
"Across this stormy water:
And I'll forgive your Highland chief,
My daughter! -- O my daughter!"

'Twas vain: the loud waves lash'd the shore,
Return or aid preventing:
The waters wild went o'er his child,
And he was left lamenting.
-- Thomas Campbell

2006-09-01T19:44:00.001+08:00

haha had sooo much fun today!
alrite stacy, in the end you werent the one who looked like she was crying in the movie thanks to the spicy chicken. i was the one dabbing at my (huge huge) nose and tearing eyes thanks to SINUS. GOD it sux. oh well.
the 1st farnie thing to happen was meeting in the bus! stacy had a feeling we would! LOL and i though i was late! and i met lucie!!! HAHAH! and when we got to the theatre we had seats RITE in the middle of the row. and the rest of the seats were filled. so how? stacy was SHOCKED when i did this. jump over lah! aduh! LOL. ok the monkey in me came out! coz the seat was the 1st row, so we jumped over the backrest and sat down! haha!

then came the safty announcements. ok, stacy listens VERY CAREFULLY to the moose that says "no talking" and "turn your handphone off". a MOOSE. HAHAHAHHAHAHA

the movie was funny, yes. i like anne hatheway, and it was a good movie. but it was SUCH a chickflick. SUCHHHH a chickflick. the ending i predicted when she MET the rich author guy. she went back to her poor cook. aDUH. so predictable. but she shld have kept her job and the dresses! theres a LIMIT to niceness ok, and you CAN be nice and keep your friends. and the designer clothes and the coolness and the excellent salary. SIGH. so dissapointingly goodie two shoes. AND she didnt use that guy that she .... well "dated" temporarily (the author) to contact the editors to get her dream job. SO USELESS. and she got used too. so DUMB.

oh wells it was nice in a predictable way. but we had FUNNNNN!!! and we went to play arcade after tt. and then BACK to j8 to eat .....HAGENDAZ!!!yummyyummyinmytummy(: belgian chocolate, my loooong lost friend. j'aime toi!

alrite, i RAN to give the lil boy his reading lesson and he was unenthu as usual. but hes SO cute ok! i LOVE him, and i keep saying how cute he is. it seems to have gotten to his head. he said today, "i know the answer because im so cute and smart!" AWWWWW SO CUTE!!!
hahahahahhahaha. but im NOT made to be a teacher. EVER.

2006-08-31T20:17:00.000+08:00

hey guys !
ok addition here
http://svt.se/hogafflahage/hogafflaHage_site/Kor/hestekor.swf
this is SO CUTE!!! go there and click on the horses, try diff combis. its so adorable!

2006-08-31T16:18:00.000+08:00

heyy ppl! Got loads to say ajord'hui.
1. kasam se
I am IRRITATED by kasam se rite now. BORING. IRRITATING. STUPID. Yup yup. But an addiction is an addiction, and a 60-yr-old like me needs to watch soap operas hmm?
2. Teachers day.
the concert wasn't as gd as last year. jhot sang, yes. stacy and I were sitting together and we were wishing tt jhot would sing instead of the student band (which wasn't as gd as the teacher band last year, mainly coz of the singing) and hurrah! jhot came from backstage and sang his swansong. well not his swan song per say, but the last song we will ever hear him sing. and the rest of the concert wasn't that nice too. I liked pseudonym LOADS coz they did the beetles! Hurrah! lol.but most ppl couldn't relate coz they don't know the songs, mais j'aime les beatles and I was sooo happy! lol. the dances were boring. yes. nth more to be said. ms neo wasn't there , but I wish she could have come back for today!mrs pey was so sweet(: and mr ang wasn't there toooooooo!! boo. I thought for once I could give him his present on teachers day instead of later. he went home to early! boo. oh wells. I wish I had got smth small for mrs lim and ms pang too! ms pang coz marking is going on. mrs lim coz she helped me with chem, really! (:
so, heres a toast to the teachers. thank you so much for making RGS truly distinct.
Thank You!
3. subway
the subway at far east SUX. there was a smell like vomit. then the staff is HORRID now. theres some sorta staff change. theyre damn impersonal and charge SO MUCH for so lil jalepeneo peppers ok! theyre horrible. i shall try my best never to go there. as far as possible.
4. 3rd lang exams
i spent FOUR HOURS being a "tester" to stacy and eliz today. wow. but nth better to do oso lah. so we sat in burger king with my subway sandwich and stayed for like 3h, the bk ppl were gonna chase us away if we stayed any longer ok! my nose oso, sigh, so horribly blocked! thanks to rain +haze+ bad smell in subway.anyways i spent those 4h testing eliz and stacy abt german and french. and then we went to MOELC (thanks to persuation frm staky) where i was stacy's backrest!LOL.and i tested them summore. then i met ASRA and LUCIE and dilshad and TANVI and more ppl! hahahah! so fun! and everyone thought i was there for french exam. LOL. hahahahaha! anyways it was fun lah goofing about! good lucky staky, asra, simin, quanni, lucie, sarah, nerrisa, tanvi, eliz, and everyone else whom i forgot to mention. bonne chance!
5. RAIN!!!
i LOVE the rain. i was all wet a few min ago. it was THUNDERING outside. i had to cross the road rite? and i LOVE LOVE LOVE getting wet. so YAY two in one. necessity turned into fun. lol. so ya i was dripping. literally, i couldnt SEE. it was SO HEAVY. but SOOOO FUNNNNNN!! i wish i coulda gotten wetter but i had my bag and arjuns book so i ran to shelter pretty fast. damn. i love rain!
alrite tts it now. i gtg watch CSI! hahahahahaha! aurevoir

2006-08-29T14:06:00.000+08:00

yes
we are free
we have triumphed
we have survived
the torture, the pain
its OVER. yes. over
but for how long?
how long before
we have to be chained
once more?
for we are prisoners
of life itself
and we shall never
truly be free.

exams are OVER. 2 more weeks before the torture begins again. TWO. WEEKS. yesh!! but this freedom is short-lived, i know. because there are responsibilities upon each one of us.after sept we have options. and results (that hopefully wont burst my bubbles and will blow them up even more lol) and next year.... what will that bring for me? i really dont know. do i start preping for SATS? i need a good score to get into gd uni ... even if i go nxt year to US i wanna take SATS asap so that i get it overwith. but i dunno what to do anymore. i wanna be FREE. and i wanna be forever free of exams. sigh. freedom is sooo short-lived.
do we all die searching?
P.S. bonne chance to ppl taking 3rd lang. stock up on vocab on dead ppl, french-taking ppl, coz i heard french test-setters are sadistically obsessed with killing someone in redaction. and i kinda thing its easier this way. coz we can learn abt all sorts of death and apply to the compo. nvm im talking crappy(: aurevoir!!

2006-08-28T11:09:00.000+08:00

overpowering
it leaves me helpless
i have no choice
i am bound
by promises i made
unknowingly
is it truly
insatiable?
will i die
trying to fight
this monotony?
everyday, every hour, everminute-
it haunts me
that when i am awake
i have to forever seek
to better myself
and when i am asleep
nightmares
of my never-ending quest
torment me
it hurts
to know that i am yet
not good enough
for this insatiable society
that always craves for more
leeching the confidence
from my very soul
and leaving me ever-hungry
for acceptance

ok i think its getting to my head. 2 days of stoning. and i feel like im drowning. thats all it takes to put you off track. 2 days.
now i feel like im letting everyone down. But worst of all. im letting MYSELF down. and that is truly the most disturbing feeling of all.
oh well. it isnt that bad is it? 5 rev ex shld be ok i guess. i can do the puremath stuff during the next 2 weeks. so that when week 1 comes along i shall be better prepared.

moving on. theres the horrible feeling that although this is the end of my secondary school examinable life, my life will be full of such exams. forever i will be examined to determine if i am good enough to get into this course and that job. forever. it is unending. i will never ever be good enough. i will have to try unendingly to better myself everyday. and if im tired of it now what am i going to do for the rest of my life?the goal is ever-shifting. society will never be accepting as long as you do not try your very best and achieve results! and you just have to achieve those results. to meet their expectations. and the worst part is, their expectations somehow, on one particular day, become YOUR expectations. and when you dont make it, your not letting them down as much as you are letting YOURSELF down. and theres no worse feeling then that.and when absolutely everyone is striving to stand out, it becomes difficult to break the monotony. and we all die fighting it.
will we ever be allowed to be satisfied?
or are their expectations truly insatiable?

2006-08-25T21:06:00.001+08:00

ελευθερία
oh how we crave freedom
its so close
the air is thick
with anticipation
of the day when
we will be free

free of this opression
this torment
this obsessive behaviour
that has been imposed upon us
yes, my friends
we will be, once more
truly ourselves
in the most pure,
undisturbed form
and we shall wreck havock
once more

harlo everyone!
(except math) EXAMS ENDED!! HURRAH!!!
congrats jingwei for your many many many awards. truly pro manz. and scary i must say.

on a rather different note. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6c0jbIQN6bo
Vivek proposes to june. ok i dunno who vivek is and i dunno who june is, but this is one of the funniest videos ive ever seen. this made my day. truly.

phy was ok but geog was horrid. i think i was wayyy outa point. oh wells. its OVER!! oh joy!! lol. math and then FREEDOM!!!
θέλω την ελευθερία
whoever can figure out what the first word on this entry is and what the above phrase is, and what language it is in, gets a chocolate frm me. lol! hahahaha. c'est tres difficile, non? lol
take care ppl. just a few more days.

2006-08-24T22:22:00.000+08:00

What if there was no lie
Nothing wrong, nothing right
What if there was no time
And no reason, or rhyme
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life
What if I got it wrong
And no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life

Exams are getting over. finally. but now a strange fear haunts me: what if i did badly?! i dont think i did that badly in any exam but ive been wrong SO many times before. and then theres geog, which is tmr. how do you study geog? did you know that the brain automatically filters out useless info while you sleep? well there goes my geog knowledge! so how does one study for geog? even with EXCELLENT notes from the humans genius herself, how can one bear such torture!?! then theres the way we are taught in the first place. a geog lesson leaves you with more questions then answers. so we all are perfectly capable of setting question papers. but answering her questions is another story.
physics i think im a LOT better today thanks to a great phy lesson from stacy's dad. wow that was a totally enlightening hour. AN HOUR!! i couldnt even believe so much time passed ok! coz for the first time i understood what was being taught in phy without going home and refering online and getting more confused. haha! so im no longer drowning in phy, at least for DC. only thing left is the defnition memorising. hope that goes well though. and theres math nxt tuesday. i need this good grade for math. imagine that, the ONE subject that i truly love(on occasion) and am relatively good at i can screw up to the point of needing a grade to make a 3.6. wowwww im good at screwing up! lol

oh ya i just discovered this group called bombay rockers. theyre pretty good! its some kinda fusion music between some indian guy and some danish guy. quite good, surprisingly. and i couldnt imagine a song called "sexy mama" doing SO well in india! lol!!! and btw, mama means uncle in hindi ok! LOLL!! haha! oh ya , theres this other indian band that i have absolutely fallen in LOVE with. its called junoon. dunno if its indian or pakistani but the lyrics are absolutely poetic. welll most of them anyways.really, theyre GOOD!! but they, unlike bombay rockers are not multilingual. they sing simply in hindi, lovely urudu infused hindi (so i guess theyre frm pakistan?) and it resonates through you, the lyrics. i know this is an ODD comparison, but theyre like coldplay in a way. the lyrics are such an inseprable part from the melody, and it leaves you wondering.

ok enough for now, i shall go brush up geog and finish phy and SLEEP!
oh ya, i need to thank ppl for exam week. these ppl have been absolutely sweet last week:
stacy. of course, you come first for salvaging my panicked self from failing!!! lolll rmb "ill do ok rite?" i must have asked you like 50 times!! thank you for being so sweet and doing ALL your notes SO well and So in time.
shuks: so so sweet of you to email everyone about all the info you get about tests! im sure all of 401 agrees with me when i say this (:
anyi: i couldnt have picked a more timely email to recieve. i was just wondering abt everything you asked ms lee about!!and then you were nice enough to send everyone. thank you!!!
jiening: thank you for helping me with phy!!your really gd at it manz, can see so many things even at 1.30am
xuanyi: thanks for telling me to "GOGOGO STUDY!!!" lolll whenever i was stoning in front of the com. believe it or not i actually went went went to study!! haha!
beanie: thank you for answering my qns about chemistry!although it was delayed and came with a somewhat unjust lecture, im reeeally greatful. i think beanie is really the best qn answerer when shes in a gd mood ok! she really is.
mabel: thank you for being prompt and answering my many qns on msn(: your the only one i know who can answer tt fast lol
stacy's dad: thank you uncle!! for spending sooo much time dispite the heat and seating restrictions to help me learn all the DC circuit stuff and about AC and DC and voltmeter and ammeter etc. i think that pretty much saved my physics grade!! thank you sooo much(:
all those music composers: thank you coldplay, junoon,bombay rockers, beethoven, vivaldi, chopin, shakira(hips dont lie, thats the only one i have),maroon 5, red hot chilli peppers, and most of all beatles. i couldnt have borne sooo much of studying without this playlist!! especially the classical music and the beatles. yesterday was on repeat as many times as 5th symphony and autmn from four seasons!!
oh and finally (latest development): thank you aiwai and all the kids playing downstairs for being quiet when i absolutely begged you to salvage my grade with some silence.ya'll were even sweet enough to go home early (: yes, it was truly helpful. i shall bring down chocolates for you guys next time i see you, im that greatful! (btw for people who dont know i live on the third floor above the playground. its PAINFUL to study in my room usually.)

ok thats it for tonite. 20min wasted! wow. that was easy!! lol. thank you everyone, for making my life that much more fun and worth living every moment of.
au revoir pour mentainent!

2006-08-18T16:29:00.000+08:00

i am so high i can hear heaven
im so high i can hear heaven
but heaven, no heaven dont hear me
and they say that a hero could save us
im not gonna stand here and wait
ill hold on to the wings of an eagle
watch as they all fly away

ok today im not so angry. i forgive soooo easily. im a damn stupid person in this way. how CAN i forgive her? and yet all she has to do today is be nice and alls well again. what the hell. anyways...we'll see how i feel abt it after next week.

anyways staky good luck for orals!! theyre probably over by now but heck. you will see this sometime. Anyways. Ive never seen that guy teacher before! hmm. i walk around with my eyes closed i suppose coz i saw him today! and i DIDNT TELL HIM he misquoted einstine!! BOO. anyways, i guess i will next time i see him. hes quite nice anyways he remembered me, and asked me if i was the one he tested. lol! and i din tell him. damn.

theres a new thingy i discovered today. i make great frappachinos! its so nice ok! and at home too! i used my moms grinder, much to her dismay, and i need to go wash all the dishes now but the coffees GREAT!! and you get to add whatever heck you want! i made too much though and moms alredy drinking tea so i dunno what ill do with the second cup. but rite now im drinking my BEAUTIFUL frothy ice blended whiped-cream-topped yummy-in-my-tummy coffee!!! YAY!!!

lawl, now i shall wash dishes and make an attempt at doing SS.

watch as they all fly away...

2006-08-15T17:24:00.000+08:00

i am ANGRY. today was a WASTE. thanks to people i have grown to dislike somewhat. im angry with an athority figure. yesh. she is MEAN and MISGUILDED and totally horrible to all of us who work SO HARD and then she SLAYS what we do with stupid misplaced comments.
the 2nd person is just not worth it. shes kinda odd now, a far cry from the nice friend she was last year before she gained some athority at which point she abandoned friendship and started being RUDE and rash and angering. sigh. few more days of this then OPTIONS!!where shes OPTIONAL!! and so is the 1st person! YAY

2006-08-14T20:38:00.000+08:00

you have this way of falling in and out of time as it goes by
passing silently with you and i
and ive spoken with all the other angels
they dont know what to do
and i agree with them wholeheartedly
i do....

i love this song.
anyways physpa is screwed. i HATE YOU HSBC LADY WHO CALLED DURING MY SPA AND DISTRACTED ME!!! if your out there, let it rest upon your concience that you lost me 4 marks!!!
anyways the spa dosent work!! lemme tell you why.
1. aluminium is NOT FERRO-MAGNETIC!!
how the hell can the thing be slowed down without aluminium being ferro-magnetic?!
2. AC doesnt create magnetic effect! it causes the polarity of the solinoid to change rapidly (AC rmb) and the ring( even if it was ferro magnetic) would just fall through. soft iron ring is a bit more sensitive but hey they gave us aluminium!

and lemme tell you, i REALISED it and was gonna write it down when the IDIOT called me and my bag and foot vibrated. she/ he called THRICE.
KILL!!!

2006-08-12T09:01:00.000+08:00

chaain ek pal nahi (not a moment of peace)
chaain ek pal nahi
chaain ek pal nahi
aur koi hal nahi(theres no other resort)

sigh. i want to be productive! yest was such a waste. SUCH A WASTE!!!! i actually slept through most of the day and dumbly read a book ( a really GOOD book) for the rest of the day.its addictive. quoting from staky "aiyohhhh" sigh. what can i doooooooooooooooooooo!!! phy is on MONDAY. i somehow heard THURSDAY when stacy told me. oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. hwhat can i do NOW!!!!
i suppose revise. oh wells.
au revoir
kyunki aur koi hal nahi (because.....theres no other resort)

2006-08-09T11:04:00.000+08:00

ive been crying cause
things aint how they used to be
and she said the battles almost won
and we're only several miles from the sun
....
today.
its a very very busy day. or at least, i want it to be. because i know unless im VERY busy i wont revise
1)chem
2)phy
3)bio
4)eng
5)geog
6)SS
7)hindi
8)MATHHHH(for which i have SEVERAL sums to complete)
by the end of these 3 days. it just aint gonna happen. but i can hope cant i? hehe... i also owe ppl bio chem and phy notes. so they have to be comprehensive .

ok. i have so far , today, jogged, watched tv, done some stretching, sent an email to my dress designer in bombay (abt prom dress, he cant make it so fast and he CALLED me to make me hurry. imagine that. poor guy! it was an international call!) and ..OH YA watched future episodes of kasam se.and now im blogging. oh ya i ate some nachos with the salsa my mom made and some fruits too. YUMMI kiwi!! haha and banapple tooooXD

ok yesterday i had the WIERDEST dream. we were back at IMCB. we were invited back beacuse they wanted smth like earnest students or smth ... dunno why the hell i came in that catagory. but veni and agri were there too! haha!

and guess who my partner was? XUAN YI!!! HOW THE HELL did that happen? i dunno! he dosent even take bio i think. hes in the humanities program! and somehow he was there! dunno y oso. but he went to get me and him gloves rite and some of the other people at IMCB (students like us) asked me to come with them to watch Dr Yamada SKIN A CHICKEN. huh?at IMCB? we went to learn abt biotech, not for some cooking class. not that i would cook a chicken XD i know its damn confusing. but it was in the itenary i rmb checking it! and i was saying, wait for xuan yi he shld be back any second. gloves are SO nearby so i dunno where he went but i woke up before he came back. HAHA what an ODD dream. ODDDDDD.

ok now i gtg do smth productive. dont think i shall succeed though.

sometimes its a sad song....

2006-08-08T18:38:00.000+08:00

ab to adat si hai mujhko(its become a habit now)
aisai jeenai me(living this way)

there is shortage in the world. of food, water, kindness, happiness, and many many more things. but there will never ever be a shortage of one type of person. and that type of person is the one kind i cannot stand.

brushes against people like this are common. very very very common.in fact, last year i found myself entangled with another such person. thankfully this time i havent fallen that deep. last time, it was painful because i let it be. this time, im not gonna let it hurt me. because she aint worth it.

actually today there were 2 people whom i would identify as ...people who would fit neatly into this catagory.hmm. as usual no names mentioned. if i wanted to defame people i would have done it to those who were a lot worse. but i dont do this sort of underhanded horrible thing.

the first one was ... somewhat a surprise. her comments were totally hurtful and stupidly ignorent. its true. but still. i knew in the bottom of my heart that she was really this way, and yet i denied myself the right to go ahead and believe it. i dont judge people very easily. but well today i got evidence enough to pass judgement. she is that sort. she really is.

the second one innitially i thought was a very nice person.then the slow but sure erosional process began, which left indifference and later blatant pain in my heart in the place of friendship. the number of things shes done to hurt me are numerous, which i shant name to prevent identification.but she really is what one would call matalabi, that is shes nice to you when she has a purpose for you. which is definately NOT a friend. i should have known earlier. after being nice to me even yesterday when she needed to borrow smth, she dares tell me today (indirectly) that shed rather have an empty seat then me sitting in it. i havent been more hurt often. she also tends to disbelieve whatever i say, finding the NEED to double check with other people like i would lie to her. i find this sort of behaviour nothing short of ..... inhumane? mean? no those dont cut it. you get what i mean. im hurt, and i dont think much will heal my wound. god bless her, because i believe what goes around comes around, and i can only hope that it dosent come round to her because its not pleasant, what she did and is still doing.

at least the first person never pretended to be my friend.
adat pad gaye hai. (its become a habit).

2006-08-06T18:50:00.000+08:00

Dear prudence
Wont you come out to play?

Today i have work. tonnes of work. SSpt Biblio not done. genomic biology worksheet isnt done (and isnt likely to be done soon either) and physics remains uncharted teritory.hmm.

anyways today i shall blog about.....poverty.(guess pranab bardan had an effect upon me after all.)
i am a person who is totally affected by most things. i cry when i watch films of african states that are underprivilaged. I cannot see pain and know that i can do nothing.
The worst part of this whole cruel circle is that those who suffer are children. Most children are lucky to be our age. even luckier to survive to adulthood. especially without aids. The worst part of the whole process: aids was spread by medical malpractice. the usage of the same non-sterile needle everyday was the cause of this mass distruction. Those whom we respect and reviere as saviours are the very people who condemed these poor people to this horrible fate worse then death. imagine living knowing that every day that you awake to see the sunrise is a mere stroke of luck. imagine being a hair's breath away from death constantly. think about it long and hard. and you will never again hesitate from donating those two bucks to a charity.

sigh. so depressing. i wish i could do something. i know that wenever im old enough to finance it i shall sponsor as many children as i can affoard. its $30 per month at world vision and its really very very helpful to the families of the children. you can see how they really struggle to dress up and look nice for their picture to be taken, and yet it doesnt hide the ribs that stick out, the malnourished sunken face and the bloated tummies of the children, most of whom arent even 5.

and so i shall end my post, in persuit of physics again. but i know i wont forget that child .

2006-08-05T23:07:00.000+08:00

hello everyone
i decided to blog again. i shall blog more regularly now, as stacy will make sure i do anyways. i shall not however focus on everyday events, but shall write abt random stuff as often as i can lol. its good to reflect anyways.

ok, now i shall start a NEW BEGINNING.
here are the changes i plan to make. key word. PLAN.
1. NO MORE MILK CHOCOLATE!
yes. i kavya the chocomaniac have decided from this monday to give up any other chocolate except for dark chocolate. this is mainly because dark chocs are healthy, and anyways i <3 them . so yesh. no more milk chocs!

2. 1.5km/day on the treadmill.
this ones harder. a lot harder. but i jog at like 7km/h so it takes me 7min to do it (around there lah) therefore the doing isnt as hard as the getting ready to do it part. hmm. i shall try

3.20min of pilates everyday
this one is hurtful really. the pain of stretching is huge. but it will pass, as all horrible things do, to leave a wonderful springy felxibility. hopefully. (and you can do this watching TV)

4. meditate for at least 15min everyday
believe it or not, i used to do this until a few months ago. it really helps. it makes you less.....lost. i really enjoy it. truly. and for 15 min i shant long for yesterday. (:

5.do my homework ON THE DAY ITS ISSUED
this is a BIG problem with me. procrastination OR loosing worksheets. deadly combination. basically very few worksheets get through this behavioral filter that i seem to have set up around myself. so i shall do it BEFORE i loose it! haha

6. PREPARE!!!
i shall start to prepare for things early. like i shall start saving for my coffeebean mug NOW. then i shall get it very very soon. YAY!

7. reflect
i shall now reflect on everyday. if im sorry about something i shall say it. if i was wrong i will admit it. and if i can help, i will. if i dont understand i will ask. if someone dosent understand i will teach.everyday.this is very important to me. lately i havent been doing this much for lack of time, but now no more. i know, it sounds kinda cliche and copied from some sanskrit text like ramayan or smth but it really isnt. its very possible. and i hope i can do it. (:

ok keep in mind my 7 comandments are IDEAL situation. isnt gonna happen anytime soon. my ss article review hasent even gotten past 1000 words on the 1st draft yet. thats BAD. i shall go back to it now. i just wanted to blog, for once. haha(:

now, i shall relive yesterday. (do ss pt AGAIn i mean lol)

2006-07-26T16:41:00.000+08:00

Poems

The language of the heart
Created by the mind
The day these were invented mark
The development of mankind

For this is a language few can seek
To fully comprehend
The true context the poet never lets leak
It remains locked in his mind

In a way it is a code
Beautifully concealed
It’s in plain sight, everyone can be told
Yet only to few is the true meaning revealed

In itself it is a world
By the poets mind conceived
Every one comes from a unique mould
All he has to do is believe

And the words from his mind will write themselves
On paper, in such a way
That in them we shall lose ourselves
So that one day, understand them we may